Why Adrian Monk has Asperger’s

I’ve always loved the now-classic show Monk, in which the incomparable, soulful Tony Shalhoub plays a man severely disabled by OCD  as well as what I and my therapist believe is clearly high-functioning autism/Asperger’s. It’s surprising that so few people make note of this aspect of his personality, but some traits that are dead giveaways are his difficulty getting jokes, or taking teasing in light heart (everything has a very literal meaning for him and for the autism spectrum mind), and particularly his sensitivities to sound, light, touch. He notably does not like to be touched or hugged; he is overwhelmed by the noises of New York City when he goes there in “Mr. Monk Takes Manhattan”; he moves when his neighbor’s piano playing drives him crazy; and on many other occasions loses sleep and concentration because of a noise that bothers no one else. It is this acute sensitivity that enables him to solve crimes so well, but it makes him very difficult to live with, or even in the same building, or neighborhood with.

Mr. Monk is very gullible, due to how literally he takes things that he is told. He is easily tricked or manipulated, especially by people pretending to be his friend (See “Mr. Monk Makes a Friend”). Because he has very little experience with true friendship, he has an overwhelming wish for it, as well as very naive expectations regarding the sincerity and motivations of other people. According to Temple Grandin, this is very common among the autism spectrum population, due to both radically unfiltered speech and naively trusting natures. Sometimes we want so badly to share our thoughts and experiences with others that we cannot comprehend why this openness is perceived as a weakness, or why others may be more reserved. A lack of awareness of social coding when it comes to “polite” conversation is commonplace, as well as an inability to switch codes between the personal and the public. The tendency to disclose secrets due to a lack of filter will often lead to gossip and misunderstanding; and the inability to tell when others are lying will in some extreme cases, in dating type situations, even lead to rape or molestation because intentions were veiled until the last minute. In Monk’s situation, he was almost killed by Andy Richter’s character Hal, who preyed on his weakness in order to get what he wanted, seeing Monk as little more than a child-savant, an idiot because of his social awkwardness and need for acceptance.

So, Monk is gullible. He takes ideas very literally AND he craves yet never seems to find understanding, friendship, and structure in his life. It isn’t surprising to anyone then, in “Mr. Monk Joins A Cult”, that when Monk goes undercover in a cult to solve a murder, he is soon enchanted by the seductive ecstasies of ritual and song, the promise of a loving and permanent family/community bond, and a simple lifestyle ordered by regular routines and rules. The cult compound or ranch is the perfect place to zone out, where routines are regular, sounds are quietly pleasant, and people are kind. Furthermore, the leader/ “Father” promises to solve all of Monk’s psychological problems.

Needless to say, this episode holds a humorous mirror up to my own recent experiences with religion.

The really great thing about this show is its lack of hipness and irony,  or accordance with any kind of contemporary TV trends. It’s not gritty, ironic, realistic, sexy… It is simply very humane, sincere, and wholesome. I think it is a show about love, at a basic level. This show has soul. It touches people without trying too hard. It is innocent of pretension. In this way, the TV show itself sort of has Asperger’s, I think! It is very genuine and straightforward, without the self-consciousness of many trendier shows. The dead people practically look like they’ve been squirted with catsup!

I love also its generically confusing nature: it is equally mystery, drama, and comedy, and manages to do all three perfectly. The funniest moments exist side by side with the deepest sadness, or the richest expressions of friendship. I love how clear it is who are the good and the bad guys; it seems to be the last hold-out for this type of classic fantasy-storytelling where the villains are absolutely despicable and the detectives are heroic, albeit it with flaws. It also does the very difficult job of portraying mental illness/cognitive difference/disability without retreating into pure pathos or crassly deliberate caricature.

More on Monk as my thoughts evolve…

Rage, meltdowns, temper tantrums, and the urge to inform.

Aspergers, mental illness and religion: strange bedfellows

I’m no enemy of religion but I’m not an uncritical friend of it either. I do not shut down conversations of God and meaning. Their variety intrigues me. There are far too many questions than there are answers. I generally love life and humanity but struggle with the problem of evil, which scares me, and sometimes get so lost in the incomprehensibility and sensory clarity of consciousness that I have panic attacks and obsess over things to calm down. The Aspergers/autism spectrum individuals have this tendency to obsess over things and people… and that’s where religion gets tricky.

Reality is out of our control, beyond language. Religion grants order and stability, and its rituals are a tempting distraction to the mind and senses.Here’s another thing that makes it trickier: I have bipolar disorder, and therefore extreme emotional and psychological states. If I am obsessive and manic, or obsessive and depressed, that obsession takes on all the darkness or overwhelming passion of these states. Therefore religions can give me a kind of mystical ecstasy, an incomprehensible passion, adrenaline. They can also lead down the path of terrifying delusions when my mind and body go into self-destruct mode, because  religious and radically empirical, rather than rationally deductive, explanations have become immediate and appealing. If religion brought me peace and ecstasy, then I will grant it the power and authority to determine the nature and cause of my illness. Am I a sinner? What have I done to deserve this? Are God and the Devil truly fighting for my soul?

So, fixations are one of the most productive and positive aspects of autism spectrum disorders, in that they provide a way to concentrate and calm oneself, but if I obsess over the wrong things, it just makes everything go from bad to worse. That is what happened with me and religion a while ago. I had a mental breakdown and decided to convert to a faith I had been studying for a long time. I was terrified of everything, from trees to broccoli to reading the news. A crisis of absurdity had struck along with a biochemical malfunction. To put things in order I adapted a very strict faith system. I thought it might solve everything. As my bipolar episode grew progressively worse, however, the literal way I was interpreting religion started to make me delusional. My religious friends believe in the end times. They believe my suicidal ideation is the work of Satan. Well, one night when I was in the ER for the fourth time in two months, ranting that there was something inside me trying to kill me and that it was God and the devil fighting for my soul, I had a realization.

It was simply this: I am being irrational. This isn’t me. Fuck this shit, I’m getting off this train. And I did. I threw off religion with fear and revulsion and committed to rational autonomy with an equal belief in its redeeming powers.

I am fascinated by the complex, deconstructive philosophical questions, the rituals, the ecstasy, and the mytho-poetics of faith systems.

On the other hand, I don’t like arbitrary social coding that isn’t clearly in place to prevent greed, murder, incest, etc. Gender is a constructed and imaginary thing that can be bent, stretched, enlarged, circumcised, penetrated and collapsed. When I have made the big step to an intimate relationship, which is not a priority or need, but when I do, I love women as well as men. In *that* way. I really love the gays, homosexuals and homosexuality, bisexuals and bisexuality, and all other forms of sexual conduct involving adult, co-species consent. I am pro-masturbation. I like it a lot. Do I ever! Wow. I can really get off at my own hand. I think I will stay single forever. Who needs kids and a family? Not me. I like co-ed sunbathing and swimming. Coed everything. My body needs to feel the wind and sun, and there is nothing sinful about exposed skin and attractive fashions.  I like John Waters, erotic novels, photography, and painting. I find daily life potentially quite erotic, in Europe especially. Bridget Bardot. Albert Camus. Tango, ballet, Sex at noon in a hotel in Paris. I like atheisms, nihilisms, existentialisms, and all their deep pathos because I too fear oblivion, and their irreverent humor, because I like making fun of everything. That is, everything. Even things you think I shouldn’t. I argue with authority and I kind of like causing trouble. This list could go on forever. I hate lying or making believe. I hate small talk.